NOTE: I had a hella busy schedule yesterday and while I painted for ten minutes, the rest (editing the video for Patreons, writing the post, taking screen shots of the process) fell through the cracks of SO MUCH TO DO. There will be a second post later today with Day 26, which will catch us all up.
If you’re doing a long haul project like this one, there’s going to come a point when the stakes start to feel pretty high. You look at your beautiful, layered work and think: One wrong move could ruin everything. That anxiety can create a profound paralysis, stopping you from making the necessary big moves.
This has happened every time I’ve worked on a larger painting over a longer period of time than I’m used to, and I gotta be honest. It’s stopped me every time.
Not this time, though.
Today, I faced that exact moment of hesitation. I wanted to fundamentally change the figure’s face shape to be more symmetrical and rounded, creating more room around the eye—a major, risky adjustment this late in the game.
I felt pretty anxious and unsure when I sat down. Would this ruin everything?
But I Know Things, And I Know I Know Them.
I gave myself a pep talk, but it wasn’t about courage; it was about knowledge.
The knowledge that let me move forward was that I know my mediums really, really well. I know what’s possible. I know exactly how these paints and Pitt markers play with each other. I know which colours in this series (Golden Fluid) opaque enough to act as an eraser if needed. I know the power of a little black gesso. So even though I was a bit shaky about it, I knew I could change things back if I hated the result. Well, maybe not exactly, but close enough.
The fear of “ruining” it dissolves, or at least, eases when you trust your tools and your capability with them.
I dove in, using the iridescent light copper to redefine the shape, and yes, I know I’ve created a bit of a bobble head effect as a result, but I can fix that at some future point when I’m ready to work on the neck.
I lost a LOT of depth doing this, but it’s okay. I know how to bring it back.
I then spent some time shading and reshaping her lips with Dark Sepia Pitt Pen.
The confidence it took to make this big of a change didn’t come from bravery, though. Not this time, at least. It came from expertise, since I’ve played with and experimented with these mediums for years.
When You Know Your Tools, You Can Take More Risks
If you find yourself paralyzed by the fear of ruining your work, ask yourself:
- What is the worst-case scenario with this specific medium? (Can I wipe it off? Can I glaze over it? Can I scratch it back?)
- What is my safety net? (The knowledge that this is mixed media, and nothing is truly permanent until the final varnish.)
Asking yourself questions like these before you make changes you fear you might regret will help you to stop approaching your work as if it’s a fragile thing you might break. Approach it as an experiment you know how to reset.
When you trust your tools, you trust yourself to handle the consequences, and that is the only permission you need to take a risk.
I won’t know if this risk was worth it until I get into the final stages of working on this face, but I’m confident I take it where I want to, and that’s giving me LIFE.
See you again soon,
Xo
Effy
P.S. Folks who are in my classes over on Into The Wild (my teaching network) or Patreon are getting video content every day throughout the course of this challenge. Folks who are subscribed to my YouTube channel will be getting video updates weekly or so. There may be stuff going up on TikTok. There will definitely be posts going up on Instagram.
Of course, this spot right here will ALSO serve as my studio diary, so I hope you’ll bookmark the site, and hey! EVEN BETTER! I hope you’ll sign up for the e-list, which I’ll use to let you know when a new post goes live. If you want the project PDF, here you go!