Today had a way less “don’t ask me, I just work here” vibe than the first couple of weeks of this practice, and much more of an “I know exactly what’s next, let’s heckin’ go!” vibe. And I’m loving it.
Let me explain. 🙂
Yesterday’s move to black out some of the background gave me this big, matte, velvety field of possibility around her head. (Bless black gesso forever and ever, so say we all.) I left the table with a clear idea. Tomorrow, I’m going to give her the cosmos. So when I lit my candle today, I wasn’t flailing. I wasn’t staring at her wondering where to even start. I already had my first move.
We’ve talked about this before, but today it really clicked. This isn’t a one-off trick. It is something I want to weave into my practice on purpose.
Metallic watercolour did all the heavy lifting today. Deep blue, royal purple, minty green, all bleeding into one another while everything was still wet.
Then the spatter: silver and gold, tiny starbursts across that new darkness. It was like watching a night sky grow itself in fast-forward. She really does look like she’s stepping forward out of the universe now with that little portal by her cheek echoing all that starlight.
I came in calm, thanks to past me, and I left… excited?! Definitely not buzzy, anxious, or panicked (and trust that “excited” can mimic those last three quite deceptively). Grounded. Ready to unwrap the wee prezzie I left for tomorrow.
There’s still so much that needs attention. Her face wants much deeper shading. The side that didn’t get the galaxy treatment is waiting for me to decide whether it’s going to stay more earthly, or whether I’m going to wrap the stars all the way around her. The trumpet flowers are raising their hands like “uh, excuse me? Oh hey, hi! What exactly are we in this story?” I’m already thinking about looking up their symbolism, maybe shifting the colour of the blooms away from the leaves so they read more clearly as something that means something rather than merely embellishment.
So, here’s where I am on Day 27.
I’m resisting the urge to rush to “finished.” I keep reminding myself that the goal is not a finished painting. When the project ends, the painting process *can* and most likely *will* continue. I can feel myself slipping into the phase where the big moves are mostly done and the real magic is in the light touches: deepening a shadow here, softening a transition there, making tiny decisions about what stays and what goes.
The next few days are going to be about honouring everything this painting has already given me and then quietly, patiently, helping her become more of what she already is.
The mindset that landed today is simple: leave tomorrow a wee prezzie. Yesterday I left myself the galaxy. Today I painted it, but I left myself the face to shade tomorrow. The day after, maybe I’ll have a think about the non-galaxy side. Eventually, but maybe NOT by Day 30 (which is ooooohkay), I’ll have a conversation with the trumpet flowers.
And because this painting INSISTS on doing double duty as both an icon and a life coach, it turns out that’s true in my life, too. When I stop trying to “wrap everything up” in one sitting and instead leave Future Me a clear first step, I might meet my life the way I met this painting today: calm going in, lit up coming out, already knowing what first step to take next time. This means that Future Me does not have to figure it all out from zero. She just has to pick up the brush (or the next item on the to do list) where I left it.
BUTANDALSO
This may not work for everyone, so I invite you to give it a try as an experiment. What happens when you decide on what tomorrow will bring? Does it trigger resistance? Does it make you excited or anxious, and are you checking to see if one is masquerading as the other? Or does it settle you down and give you a bridge to tomorrow’s practice? I’d love to hear how this lands with you.
See you tomorrow.
xo
Effy
P.S. Folks who are in my classes over on Into The Wild (my teaching network) or Patreon are getting video content every day throughout the course of this challenge. Folks who are subscribed to my YouTube channel will be getting video updates weekly or so. There may be stuff going up on TikTok. There will definitely be posts going up on Instagram.
Of course, this spot right here will ALSO serve as my studio diary, so I hope you’ll bookmark the site, and hey! EVEN BETTER! I hope you’ll sign up for the e-list, which I’ll use to let you know when a new post goes live. If you want the project PDF, here you go!